I am currently enrolled in an Academic Writing class for my Master's program. Tonight was the second night of class, and our teacher reiterated, like all the reading we did for tonight's class, that the most important thing to do is just to write. Write without worrying about the rules of writing, because it could keep you from saying what you want to say. Just sit down in front of a piece of paper or your computer and work it out as you think it.
This is a bit difficult to me for two reasons. First, I love to procrastinate. I cannot imagine how much potential I have wasted due to my love of procrastination. It's not that I really love it, it's that I know no differently. I have a lot of ideas and get a little overwhelmed at all the things I want to learn, do, see, etc. So instead of trying to tackling them one-by-one, I get anxious and paranoid and sit on my couch, stare at a wall, read Perez Hilton, etc. Basically waste time. Secondly, I dream of being a perfectionist, and have some tendencies, and also suffer from an affliction called "low self esteem", maybe you've heard of it? The two combine to mean that I strive for perfection but often don't have the skills or patience to achieve it, and I also think other people are holding me to these perfect ideals. For instance, I know I am not a neat freak, but I feel like I should make people believe I am, which is why I will clean obsessively when someone I hardly know is coming over. It's taken a LONG time for me to allow people to see my apartment in it's natural state, which isn't a pig-pen, but is definitely not going to make it in to Architectural Digest. It's lived in. Why do I not think that is okay for public consumption?
In short, I'm really going to try to write each day. For starters, I will fill in all the days I skipped, because I create titles for most of them, so I have something to go off. Then I'll try to make sure there is a new entry each day. I can't say they will be funny, or profound, or will speak to you, but they will exist.
As I write this, I'm watching MeTV (or MeTOO) and the Twilight Zone is on. I don't quite understand this show. Am I supposed to be scared or confused?