I know a wedding is a joyous occassion, I get it. You're getting MARRIED! Very fun for you.
However, if I haven't seen you in six years and you didn't express an interest in rekindling our friendship until after you got a ring on your finger, I do not need a "Save the Date" for your bachelorette party.
Nor do I need an invite to your wedding shower. Wedding showers are about as boring as watching an interview with Paris Hilton. Wait, did I say boring? I meant stupid.
According to proper etiquette (no, I am not citing sources, I'm too lazy), inviting me to your wedding is a bit of a stretch. Do you want another present? Have you heard I am entertaining at weddings? (let's be honest, I'm entertaining at most social functions, unless a cute boy is hitting on me. Then I am generally afraid and uncomfortable and don't quite know what to do with myself.) Do you really want me to "win" the bouquet toss so perhaps I can be the next person to get caught up in the commercialization of marriage? (PS - see, you obviously don't really know me anymore, or else you'd know I boycott bouquet tosses. Or I stand out there pretending I'm going to give it my all and then let the bouquet fall to the ground. I don't want your dead flowers.)
The worst thing about this is no one is ever honest with a bride-to-be. When, I respond "Sorry, I am unable to make it" to all the events, I will look like the bad person. I will look rude and heartless and bitter. No one ever says to the bride, "Girl, of course she isn't coming...you haven't spoken to her in years, and no, your recent emails do not count for shit". (apparently the person who should be straight up with the bride should have a bit of ghetto in them).