Thursday, July 19, 2007

Guys do too like bitches.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a male friend or relative say "High maintenance girls are THE WORST", I'd have at least $20, and I'd also have to tell each and every one of them they are full of shit.

It's like girls saying they want a nice guy. No you do not. Don't kid yourself! You want a guy who is unpredictable, who adds mystery and intrique to your life, someone who has confidence and maybe a bit of cockiness, someone who will maybe make you worry that you'll never hear from him again. If a guy always calls exactly when he says he will and showers praise on you, you're likely to think he's a bit desperate, or maybe co-dependent. If you don't think this way, then my fears have been confirmed and it is just me. Anyone have a number of a good therapist?

I once read a silly chick-lit book called "Dog Handling". It's a cute book, good for the beach/pool/deck, you know the type. There's a section in the book where one of Liv's (the main character) gay male friends gives a rousing speech on how guys want to be treated. I don't recall it word for word, but basically it said to mess with their minds, or as one review says "treat them like a dog and they'll be eating out of your hand". You know what I did with that page? I dog-eared it (which sounds funny, what with the title and all). That is not nice! I am a nice girl. I shouldn't be using these sneaky tactics. But you know what? Other girls use them ALL. THE. TIME. and it totally seems to work for them. I know guys who are basically shells of their former selves due to a girl's dog handling. It's like the girl has them on a leash with their man-bits (I like to be sort of classy) firmly in their grasp. It's sad when you go on a date with a perfectly nice guy who has clearly been beat down by girls before. A couple signs:

1. You offer to pay for some of the meal, or do the whole "you get dinner, I'll get the movie" type deals, and they are shocked at your offer. They might mention "Wow, I've never been out with a girl who's offered to pay before..."
2. They are blown away you have knowledge about any sport. Apparently since you are female you must only know about make-up, celebrity gossip, shoes, Grey's Anatomy and Martha Stewart.
3. They are surprised/suspicious when you encourage them to hang out with their guy friends. They may feel the need to “check-in” with you hourly when with their friends since prior girls have controlled their every movement and/or did not trust them to behave when left unsupervised.

This is very discouraging! I am an independent girl (which happens by default if you are almost 30 and live alone) and would love to meet a great guy who appreciates I don't "need" a man in my life, I "want" a man in my life. Sure, there are things I take care of that I'd happily let a boyfriend-type take over (i.e. - car maintenance, minor home repairs, etc.), but if there's not someone around, that shit is still going to get done.

I recently gave one of my other single friends (which is officially a rarity now) a gag-book called "Why You're Still Single" It's a funny, tongue-in-cheek book with each category written from a man and woman's perspective. Here's an excerpt from a section that made us laugh out loud, but when we finished laughing we looked at each other and said "Um...uh-oh...". The chapter is titled "You Are What You Hate":

"You know the stereotypes about men. 'He loves his work more than he loves me.' 'He spends too much time with his friends.' 'He's totally selfish in bed.' 'He's emotionally unavailable.' No one is defending this type of behavior, but as we push on into the twenty-first century, it's no stretch to say that if equality between the sexes hasn't yet been achieved, we've surely never been closer. With blurry gender roles, it's no surprise that women are taking on some of the more common and less desirable male qualities. The older you get, the more of a life you build for yourself, the less you're gonna want to give it up. It makes perfect sense. It just sucks to date you now because straight men don't really want to date other men."

Ouch.

2 comments:

Lou said...

So you admit girls like asshole guys. AHA! I KNEW IT!

Kristen said...

I have never denied girls like asshole guys. Other girls try to deny it, but I caught on my senior year of high school when one of the smartest, nicest boys in my senior class asked me to Homecoming and I said no because I didn't like him like that. WOW. What was I thinking? I think that gave me bad dating karma for years and years...I actually might still be paying for it.