Rap music and me, part 1.

I was just staring high school when Vice President Dan Quayle tried to get Tupac Shakur's record, 2Pacalypse Now, taken off the shelves. According to the story, a Texas state trooper was killed by a teenager who claimed he had been influenced by the album.

I wasn't really familiar with Tupac, nor his work, but remember thinking "Wow, that must be some really offensive music!" I didn't give it any more thought and certainly didn't bother to start listening to Tupac, as I was far too busy listening to Boyz II Men, Kris Kross, Nirvana, Sir Mix-A-Lot, En Vogue, and Color Me Badd to give any police-insulting rapper any attention.

At the end of 1993, Tupac was again in this news, this time due to accusations that he and members of his posse had sexually assaulted a woman. At the time, I was only 16, but I already had accumulated about ten years of being a feminist, so clearly this was intolerable to me. I vaguely recall thinking "What a sleezebag! He should go to jail for a long time!" and then turning up either Gin Blossoms, Janet Jackson, Inner Circle, SWV, 95 South, Digable Planets, or Cranberries. I had not yet been exposed to the brilliance that is "I Get Around" by Tupac, even though it was one of the Top 100 songs of 1993.

Ask anyone who knows me well (which is, I'm starting to realize, not a whole heck of a lot of people) and they will be familiar with my rap obsession and my passionate love for Tupac's musical library. Friends from college and I used to sing along to pretty much every rap song by Biggie (begrudgingly), Tupac, Snoop, NWA, Westside Connection, etc.  We were such white girls trying to be hood, without the realities of the "hood", like crime, poverty, drive-by shootings, poor education systems, teenage pregnancy (this did occur at my high school, but I wouldn't call it an epidemic), etc. You certainly could have called us "poseurs" and we would have nodded and said "Yeah...that's about right...but we REALLY like this music..."

It's a constant struggle for me to try to determine if it's not okay to like an artists work (songs, movies, books) if I feel like they are a person of questionable/bad/horrible character.  The most recent example of this is when Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. I loved his music. I saw him in concert once and it was a ton of fun. I obviously DO NOT condone violence against ANYONE, especially not domestic violence. I was saddened by the news, because I recalled reading a story that Chris Brown's mother was a victim of domestic violence. I remember thinking "CB obviously has anger issues...I hope he can apologize, serve his sentence, get some anger management counseling, and become a better person."  Some might call it naive but I like to think of it as optimistic.

I was getting ready for work on Tuesday morning with GMA in the background and heard them say something about their musical guest Chris Brown. I was like "Oh! This could be interesting!" When he was on stage with Robin, I sat down and listened to the interview. Um...WTF?  Chris, you BEAT UP your GIRLFRIEND. You should be prepared to expect questions about it for EVERY INTERVIEW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  Wow...he came off (probably is) like a total asshole with not an ounce of remorse in his body. THEN I find out later that he was so angry after his performance that he trashed his dressing room, breaking glass and everything, and then tore his shirt off and stormed out of the building.

Well.

This letter sums up my feelings better than I can.

Another reason why I'm thankful for the Hide button on Facebook.

A status update I saw tonight:

"I have the best husband ever. He scheduled me a surprise 3D ultrasound at the end of the month for my birthday. Gotta love him!!!"

I want to thank her for the warning...I'll be utilizing the hide button so I'm not subjected to shocking pictures of fetuses.  I know science is super cool and all, but I just don't need to see this kind of stuff on a social networking site!

Closing out 2010.

The next couple posts will likely have to do with new year's resolutions; making them, breaking them, deciding on them, etc., as NY's resolutions are a favorite thing of mine.  I know they are not popular for many people, but I think they are fun.  It's fun to think of ways to improve your life/yourself/your habits, or to set little goals to accomplish.

One problem I generally have with making resolutions is narrowing them down.  I get a little out of hand and sometimes make various CATEGORIES, like "personal", "career", and/or "health & fitness", and then make several resolutions under each category.  F*** that noise - that is way too involved to be attainable.

I just read this article and am putting it here for your reading pleasure and for future reference, as my resolution making decisions have not been finalized.

Hold me to it.

Don't worry, I don't put much time into wondering if I'll ever get married, but I can guarantee you one thing: of I ever fall in love with a man who asks me to marry him, I WILL NOT be posting pictures of any ring on Facebook.

Bleeccccchhh.

You have my word.

Help me with my dialectics.

In the small group communication classes that I've taught, we always discuss the various dialectics that a person encounters while working with other people/in a group. You've got the conflict-cohesion dialectic (do you let someone know if they've pissed you off or stay quiet to maintain harmony?), the leadership-followership dialectic (not everyone can be a Chief, sometimes you have to be an Indian), and many more.  Dialectics can be defined as "any systematic reasoning, exposition, or argument that juxtaposes opposed or contradictory ideas and usually seeks to resolve their conflict."

Sometimes people can never find a middle-ground between these opposing sides. You know the person (sometimes me) who always claims that they are going to "sit back" and let "other people take charge", who can NEVER ACTUALLY DO SO?  Yeah.  They can't balance their dialectic.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this. No, I haven't been brushing up on my communication research (and shit, I really should). I was reminded of dialectics today when I read this terrifically inspiring post about this incredible woman who just qualified for the Boston Marathon, after running a marathon on 30 minutes of sleep in an altitude that is about 10 times higher than where she trained.  She, in short, kicked all sorts of ass and reading her post brought tears to my eyes.

As I was reading this, I was like "Well, this woman seems fully dedicated to her fitness routine, works, and seems to have friends and a full and social life...it IS possible!" and I was filled with all sorts of optimism and enlightenment and hope and what not.  That unfortunately crashed about 45 seconds later when I thought "I just don't possess that level of discipline...I can't be like that..."  Holy shit negative self-talk...why must you rear your ugly head?

This inner dialogue reminded me of the lululemon manifesto, especially the one that reads "The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive thought."  I sort of agree with that (I think my brain can possess more than one thought at a time, but usually when that's happening I'm generally sort of confused and feel a bit batty) and give the power of positive thinking maybe a 78% (meaning I think it's effective about 78% of the time).

I'm trying to think of a good dialectic name for this constant battle of being inspired/motivated/energized/invincible and then being negative/pessimistic/defeated/bitter.  I will definitely keep you posted as the brainstorm occurs.

You want to know another thought that goes through my head when I read about people who are totally devoted to their fitness and health?  "How do they afford that?" It's true that high levels of athletic fitness are more likely to be found in people with mid-to-high levels of income, but I don't get the feeling that, for instance, the kick-ass woman in the post I linked to is rolling around in money. She's young and a career-woman, and living in a not-cheap city (Chicago). How does one really even afford lululemon clothing when they make, say, under $50k and have to pay about $900 a month in rent? This baffles me.  Insight?

Thank you for listening to my stream of consciousness. By the way, lululemon pants are totally included in one of my "if...then"s right now. "If I lose five pounds, then I will buy a pair of lululemon pants so I can feel stylish for my yoga practice." My five-year old C2 yoga pants from Target are looking a bit more than rough.

Overheard in Wrigleyville.

Guy 1 - "...yeah, I bought her a pack of cigarettes..."

Guy 2 (apparent friend) - "Why did you do that?!"

Guy 1 - "Well, she was paying for our drinks all night..."

Guy 2 - "Oh.  Yeah...I guess..."

Sigh.  Chivalry, where art thou?

Closing thoughts.

April, and my pledge to blog every day, comes to an end today, which means you probably won't hear from me for about a week or so.  I'll act as if this was totally taxing when it really isn't.  If I had blogging standards or high expectations for my blog content it might be taxing, but since I was clearly about quantity over quality I really have nothing to bitch about.

Oh wait!  I do have something to bitch about, but it's not blogging related.

I'm starting to think that if a guy is in a relationship he should have to wear some type of visible marker letting all the single women he comes in contact with know that he is, technically, not available.  Sure, girlfriends are not wives, but if you are a God-fearing woman like me, the presence of a girlfriend makes a man unavailable.  One would think relationships could be easily discarded, but when a man lives in Chicago and is over the age of 30, he's generally cohabitating.  Their relationship might be horrible and loveless and could now be a relationship of convenience/laziness, but cohabitating makes it challenging to get out of.  There are usually possessions to split and custody arrangements to draft up over pets, Wii's, or flat-screen televisions.  That shit takes a lot of effort and energy and is probably the reason why so many people are in bad relationships.  Or maybe I'm just ASSUMING many guys are in bad relationships since some of them spend a good couple hours seemingly flirting with you to only FINALLY mention the fact that they are in a relationship right before they ask you for your phone number so you can give them career advice.

Did you see Inglorious Basterds?  By the way, that movie title is awful because I have a hard time spelling things improperly on purpose, but I digress.  You know how they mark people?  I'm not thinking anything drastic like that, but you know.  Along those lines.

Detox.

After almost six days in New Orleans, where they seem to fry almost everything you can eat, I'm feeling a little bloated, a little sluggish, and am craving food that is either picked from a tree, the earth, or really anything not smothered in breading or butter.  WHO AM I?!

Some things I ate while in New Orleans:

Fried green tomatoes
Macaroons from sucre (OMG. I DIE. They are SO GOOD.)
Fried okra
Fried oyster and shrimp po boy
Veggie mufaletta
Crawfish Monica
Fried Eggplant with crawfish sauce
Beignets (once in the afternoon and once at 5:30 a.m.)

I also discovered the best iced mocha I've ever tasted at PJ's Coffee, therefore having a mocha at least four times while in New Orleans.

In other words, the next week will be a crash course in detoxing from the excesses of vacation.  I'm hoping my pants will fit better as a result. :)

While the cat's away?

So, you might know there have been some rodent issues in my apartment building.  Management has been very attentive but it's never pleasant when multiple rats have been trapped in various parts of your building.  Some had taken residence in the wall between my bedroom and bathroom for the time period of early January until early March, which provided me with countless nights of horrible sleep, crazy rodent dreams, and a general sense of "ickyness".

Last Tuesday night, after getting to bed late, I started to hear some very familiar, and completely unwelcome, noises.  Looks like those bit**es are back.

While I've been in NOLA (knock on wood), my building management was supposedly going to come in, open up the wall, and lay a ton of traps (after shutting my bedroom door) in an attempt to exterminate the unwanted guests from my wall.  How come I always miss all the fun?!*





*Sarcasm

Big Chill.

Do any words give you chills up your spine?

I always cringe when I hear someone say "moist" or "slacks", especially said with a Michigan accent, makes me shudder.  Gosh...those two words said together in a sentence is even worse!  "MOIST SLACKS"!

What am I...five?

The Big Picture.

When I love a television show, I love it with a passion usually reserved for trashy romance books or Celine Dion songs. I know all the details about the characters; their hobbies, their family members names, the names and details of their ex's, etc. and honestly hope things work out for them.

From August 2001 until February 2004 I lived with roommates, making splitting a cable bill a pretty natural decision.  Prior to that, I either got cable at home or in my various college lodgings.  In February 2004, while setting up utilities for my own apartment, I decided "Shit...this cable business is expensive."  Since I had never been a frequent television watcher, even though I was (past tense, yes) a voracious consumer of pop culture, I decided to go on a trial run for a couple months to see how much I missed it.  Turns out, I didn't, and here we are more than six years later and I watch digital television through a converter box on a cheap TV purchase for under $200 at Sam's Club (one of the companies I refer to as an "evil empire").  When forced to miss my favorite shows I program my VCR so I can watch it later (unless I can get the episode for free online the next day.) Retro much?!

The first show I can recall falling madly in love with was the Cosby Show (I have to say "recall" because apparently I was a big fan of Sesame Street and Wonder Woman, but details are fuzzy).  The Huxtable's seemed like such a fun family and I wanted my dad to wear crazy sweaters like Cliff (he kinda does now).  In the latter years of high school, I was OBSESSED with Friends and was pretty sure Chandler Bing was the PERFECT man for me.  This obsession lasted throughout college, which probably explains a lot of my college crushes.  During my last few months of college and into my first couple years post-college, Pacey Witter became my definition of a perfect man (this reflection is so eye-opening) and Dawson's Creek was a show I obsessed over with close friends.  Another favorite was the OC, but that didn't last many seasons (but was, of course, an all-encompassing love, especially for early-Seth Cohen).

I didn't start watching LOST when it first aired, but caught the series when ABC ran it in the summer.  I was sorta like "This is wacky...Matthew Fox is sooooo hot" and kept tuning in week after week.  Soon, I was a total Lostie.  The day after an episode I would read recap blogs in order to see what hidden meanings the reviewer got out of the episode and poured through the comments on the post to see what other people came up with.  While I never really got into thinking of my own theories, I really enjoyed reading other peoples and spreading what I read to other fans of the show.

As we are four episodes away from the FINAL! EPISODE! The SERIES! FINALE!, I am a little put off.  What the hell is happening on this show?  I find it weird that I'm getting so frustrated, as I never batted an eye when there was a POLAR BEAR on the island or a SMOKE MONSTER that would seemingly take pictures of people's souls or a GIANT LOWER LEG STATUE or TIME TRAVEL or the fact that Hurley NEVER once seemed to lose a pound although the food selection was not always up to par with a four-star hotel.  I sorta would be all "Oh Lost!  You crazy beast!" and geek out thinking of what the blogs would have to say the next day.

I think my frustration is partially the faulty of the Gossip Girl writers.  GG was another one of my absolute favorite shows, not only for the eye candy actors but for the clothes, great music, the funny parties, and the overall moral casualness of the characters.  It's always been a little smutty in the most delicious way.  This season, however, has disappointed me.  Not only are the clothes not that great, but the GG music supervisor seems to look through my old mix CD's in order to pick music for the show.  Yes, this does make me feel totally cutting edge, but I wish I was getting some sort of finder's fee for my good picks.  Also the writing is HORRIBLE and I can generally predict what will happen every second of the episode.  But yes, I'm still watching, as I am a little intrigued by the potential Serena/Little J showdown.

Do any of you watch Lost (or Gossip Girl?)  What do you think?  Are you sticking with it/them to the bitter end?

My next target.

In reference to this post, I've decided upon my next minimalism project: my bookshelves.

After paging through (I'm sure I sometimes say "thumbing through") my Google Reader and reading this post about how you can tell a lot about a person based on the books on their shelf, I decided I need to take charge.

I haven't been much of a book buyer for about five or six years.  The reasons I don't buy books is multi-fold: 50% because I find them to be a pain in the arse to move, 15% because I think "Why spend money on something I'm really only going to enjoy once?", 10% because I have friends and a set of parents who are big book buyers who are also good at sharing, and 25% is in response to my inner hippie...I feel bad killing trees for something I can borrow at the library.  That is not to say that I don't ever buy, or want to buy books.  Sometimes I love a book so much that I dog-ear about 75 pages that contain passages or quotes that I find so amazing that I honestly will pick up the book at random and revisit these passages.  I also not-so-secretly covet this collection and plan to buy it when I get in a more permanent set-up, because holy-hell, those are some beautiful hardcovers.

Even though I haven't bought books in a while, I have still accumulated quite a few.  Some were gag gifts, some were randomly given to me, some were left by my mom or dad when they came to visit.  All in all, it makes up for a super random, slightly embarrassing collection.  Therefore, what better place for my next minimalism project?!  'Tis better to minimize this train wreck than have any apartment guests see "Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities" next to "Why You're Still Single" next to "Confessions of a Shopaholic" next to "Bergdorf Blondes" next to "Who Moved My Cheese" next to "Jane Eyre's Guide to Dating". TRAIN WRECK, and I've only actually read three of those.  No, I'm not telling you which three.

Oh rly?

Wednesday night when I was leaving class (did you know I teach?) with one of my students (did you know I teach college students?), we were approached by a Chicago police officer who said "Are you two students?" I thought maybe he was going to alert us to a pick-pocketer/bag stealer who was on the loose or maybe let us know something about the CTA, so I answered "She's a student, I'm an instructor..."

Pause.

"You a teacher?" inquired one of Chicago's finest.

I quipped "I am, but I'm super flattered you thought I might be a student..." *bats eyelashes* (I like to keep police officers on my good side)

"Oh...then I can't ask you ladies this question...um...have a good night..." he stammers awkwardly.

I hate when people do that, especially when I feel like maybe he thought I wasn't cool anymore since I said I was a teacher (I have issues, we know this), so I state "Wait...I can plug my ears if you want to ask her a question!" (clamps Old School-style earmuffs over my ears)

Mr. CPD totally takes the bait and asks my cute, sweet, innocent sophomore student "Do you know where I can buy term papers?"

HOLD THE PHONE!

Is a uniformed police officer really trying to pull this?!  Was I randomly part of a sting operation, or was he REALLY AND TRULY TRYING TO CHEAT?!  While wearing his UNIFORM?

WWMDS? (What would Mayor Daley say)

Bad habits.

Did you ever see that Saturday Night Live sketch where the characters were smelling horrible smelling things (like spoiled milk) and saying "Eeeeewww, smell this!" to someone and the person would take a whiff, even though they KNEW it was going to smell awful?  Even if you never saw the SNL skit, you probably know what I'm talking about.

I sort of feel that way when I watch Gossip Girl.  The show has gotten SO BAD.  The writing is awful, the characters are annoying, and even the clothes and music are not up to their usual level of awesomeness.  Last night they featured a song that is AT LEAST four years old, and it wasn't done in a nostalgic way.  Bi**h please!  I could do better.

Guess what I'll probably do next week?  That's right...tape (yes, tape.  On a VCR) Gossip Girl, since I'll have to miss the original airing due to a meeting and the Florence & the Machine concert.  'Tis is the life of someone with no cable.  Or perhaps I'm just fond of keeping things around past their expiration date?

Don't look in my fridge.

Holy moley!

Now, I hope you were not expecting me to blog on Easter Sunday.  You know with church and brunch and planting flowers and doing community service and reflecting on my faith blogging just seemed so...insignificant on such a blessed day.




Oh now look what I've done...I've started your Monday morning off with a lie (none of the above is true, it just slipped my mind). I remembered after I shut my computer off and was climbing into bed.  I thought for a half-second "I should log on and at least write SOMETHING" but then I realized logging on to write something quick, which should take like five minutes tops, would end up taking me at least one hour, because it's sort of impossible to log onto my computer without checking email accounts, Twitter, and Facebook.

I actually had a lovely Easter celebration.  A friend and I dyed eggs using a Hello Kitty kit and then ate a yummy dinner of stuffed cabbage with strawberry shortcake for dessert.  Good times!  I really MEANT to go to mass in the morning but then I remembered how annoyed I get when people finally start going to things I always go to (i.e. - we have had these experiences with Tiger games and clubs in Detroit) and also I slept in a bit too late because I was out late Saturday night.

I'm heading home this weekend for some family time and will probably make my mom's Sunday and go to church with her.  I hope you all had a great weekend!

Cussing.

You may have noticed that I've been cussing/swearing/cursing a little bit on this blog.  I like to think it's not gratuitous, that my choice of swear word somehow enhances the reading experience and supports whatever point I'm trying to make at the time.

I am not a frequent cusser.  I am a high self-monitor and generally only swear when the situation calls for it or when I know no one will be offended.  It's hard to know whether or not someone will be offended by an expletive, so I tend to err on the side of caution.

I have, however, recently felt like cussing is helping me get through some of the shit I've been going through.  Therefore, I apologize if my cursing is offensive, but it's likely to stick around until things get consistently brighter.

First of the season!

Today I decided to go for it.  I would go get that Shamrock Shake that has been calling my name since their 2010 arrival at the McDonald's on the corner of Clark and Addison.

As I pulled into the drive thru, I saw a poster advertising Shamrock Shakes, and I thought "That looks fancy..." as the Sham Shake was topped with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry.  I figured that was just for show, as a way to try to get non-believers to go out on a limb and order this mythical mint deliciousness.

I didn't take it as a warning that McDonald's has fucked with one of my favorite March traditions.

I should have.




What gives McDonald's?  Why would you mess with perfection?

BLAZING MAD!

I adore the Olympics. Some women watch Lifetime movies (I totally don't...honestly never have and really hope I never will), but I prefer to get my emotional overload from the trials and triumphs of elite athletes.  I love Olympic athletes because they are in it for the LOVE OF THE GAME, not necessarily for fame and fortune.  Most of the sports at the Olympics hardly have any true media presence, and are usually only given attention once or twice every four years.

Naturally, I spent Friday night at home, watching the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.  Some friends and I tossed around the idea of watching them at a bar, but frankly, staying at home was probably better. I may have been embarrassed when I burst into tears when the athletes/representation from Georgia got a standing ovation or when I openly drooled over a lot of the male athletes (especially from South American or Nordic countries...hubba hubba).

Most definitely, I would have gotten into a knock-em-down-drag-out fight over how REPULSIVE I think it is that the Official TEAM USA Opening Ceremony Knit Sweater is FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE FUC*ING DOLLARS and it's NOT MADE IN THE USA!  OH. MY. GAWD.  How ridiculous is that?!  Ralph Lauren knows (banks on) that America thrives on a culture of consumption, one that is all about having the "newest, coolest, biggest, best, ETC". Of course talking about our consumption culture is a post all in itself, and one that I'm not really qualified to comment on (fortunately, she can), but I just find it offensive that they'd market/promote such expensive clothes to the masses during these economic times. I understand it's a business, perhaps their sponsorship deal was done before the economic downturn of 2008, but I really doubt it.  Yes, I think they look sharp, in general, but I'm just appalled that all the Team USA clothes are "imported" (which is what it says on their website).  I called the Ralph Lauren customer service line to see where the knit sweater was made (yes, I really did...it's a 1-800 number) but the woman who answered couldn't tell me.  She told me to call back during regular customer service line business hours (of course, I find it odd that they wouldn't have actual customer service rep's working now, to take orders for Olympic gear).

Anyone else find this a little shocking and upsetting?

Things I find funny.

In Chicago, if you have two unpaid parking tickets and the Department of Revenue comes across your car, they "boot you", which means they put this contraption on your car:

 

rendering it useless.

The other day, I saw a boot on a BMW.  Two thoughts came into my head, 1) "Oh no! Maybe that person lost their job and couldn't afford to pay their parking tickets!", followed quickly by 2) "Jackass...probably thought they were 'above' paying parking tickets..."

Is this normal?

No time like the present...um.

So it's four days into January and I'm still not finished with my New Year's Resolutions.  Quite frankly, I'm having a hard time narrowing it down.  There are quite a few things I *have* to finish this year, like study for and take the GRE, find a job that provides benefits, etc., and a lot of things I'd like to do, so I'm trying to strike a balance so I make sure my resolutions are a manageable goal (can you tell I've had far too many organizational classes?)

Does anyone else put this much work into their resolutions?  (by work, I really just mean thought)  Is it possible that all my thinking is setting me up for failure?  Is there a huge disconnect between thinking and action?

Time will tell my friends!  Do you believe in resolutions?