Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Living in my own art house movie.

As I lounge on my couch, curled up under my Hudson's/Marshall Fields/definitely-not-Macy's-Santa-Bear-blanket, breathing in the fresh scents of the peppermint candle and evergreen-ish candle burning nearby, I am struck that I feel, if only for a moment, caught up. This is a rare feeling...I'd even say it's a feeling I have seldom felt in my adult life. I'm a woman with a lot of ideas. I like to plan things, I like to dream, I like to make lists of books to read, movies to see, things to organize, exercises to try, recipes to attempt, and overall, I just like to stress myself out. I know downtime is a requirement for a healthy mental state, but I always feel as though I'm not really efficient enough for downtime. I stall and procrastinate, two things I am not at all proud of but am apparently entirely too attached to to abandon, and the fact that I do those two things often makes me feel like I can't TRULY have real lazy time. Usually during lazy time, I am worrying/obsessing about all the things I should be doing. That's probably not the right thing to do during lazy time.

As I continue typing this short but reflective piece, struggling to keep my heavy eyelids from falling down over my eyes, I wonder if my feeling of being "caught up", is really just feeling "tired." Headed to bed to find out if that's the case, but not before blowing out my peppermint and evergreen-ish candles. xoxo

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