Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The gossip girl writers need to call me.

I am a very casual watcher of television, in general, but am a rabidly avid watcher of shows worthy enough to be called a "favorite".  My most recent favorite non-news program shows include Gossip Girl and Lost.  Hey, I meant my "favorite", not critically acclaimed favorites.  Since I don't have cable, that's it.  Just those two.  That equates to two hours of recreational television a week, and honestly, I probably watch only four hours of television per week, which includes Meet the Press Sunday mornings and an episode or two of The Cosby Show (the best comedy OF ALL TIME).  Think of my television watching like your experience with a great friend or someone you are passionate about...if you're only spending two - four hours with them, you want to make it count.

Lost has yet to fail me.  Regardless of the fact that entire episodes can go by and nothing may get settled, we may just find out there's a polar bear! on an island! or that hot doctor Jack has a drug problem, but it always grabs me in some way. Maybe since the show is so wacky and unrealistic it gets put into a different category of expectations.  I don't really watch to see things get resolved, I watch for the mystery, excitement, suspense, and I'll admit it, the gorgeous scenery and fantastic eye candy (I drool over Jack, Sawyer, and Desmond, and also watch to figure out if I'll ever be able to look like Kate.)

Gossip Girl was my not-so-guilty pleasure.  Let's face it, I'll be 32 in a couple days and maybe should not be so concerned with Manhattan's elite, but I just love(d) it.  The clothes!  The drama!  The eye candy! (I will be the first to admit that I have a shallow streak).

The first episode of this season was "eh", but I allowed it that because it's the first episode of the new season.  Don't make me explain why it's important to be kind to first's, because this is a family blog.

Last night's episode, however, was horribly horrible.  Several times during the episode I found myself exclaiming "Oh really?  Nice, evil, nice...OMG is that a silk ROMPER...where is Little J...what's the point of having all those headbands if they never pull back your hair...I wonder if a wasabi facial is a good anti-ager...oh heaven's, Nate kept the boarding pass...she is not cute enough for him, but is still at least 30x's cuter than me...I need to work on my self-esteem...Dan Humphrey just referenced Judy Blume...more daddy issues and now Jesus freaks?"

In a nutshell, the episode was riding the hot mess express.  It wasn't telling a single story except tangentially, which is unnecessary for an hour long dramedy.

Gossip Girl writer's, you have until October 26th.  If you don't pull your shit together by then...oh whoops...I just swore on my family blog, I am DONE WITH YOU.  Next episode, why don't you try to:

1.  Elaborate on Serena's daddy issues.  Prior to the final episode of last season, we'd never really heard of the daddy (or I wasn't paying attention) but now you want us to believe she is seeking his acceptance/love?  But why?
2.  Scott.  We all know that Scott is Rufus and Lily's kid, but what's he doing there?  Is he just trying to meet his birth parents or is he trying to extort his birth parents?  Is he hanging out with all of them (and making out with Vanessa) because he wants to gather Intel for his extortion case?
3.  Nate.  What's the deal there?  He's going to Columbia, right?  Why isn't he at orientation? What's this girl Bree studying in grad school?  My money's on economics or public-something (like policy, affairs, etc.)
4.  Blair.  Why not develop that character a little and have her fall in l-u-v with a Professor, or at least be hugely moved toward a cause?  If a daughter of a hugely famous fashion designer lived on my floor, you'd better believe we'd be BFF's stat.

All in all, I expected better from you Gossip Girl.  Your music wasn't even all that original.


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