Monday, March 30, 2009

"Oh hell no..." - Eharmony update #1

Okay, so as I may have mentioned, Eharmony is a lot of work. We are talking multiple choice questions, short answer questions, etc.

In an effort to personalize the Eharm experience, they allow you to either write your own short answer questions for a potential match, or you can pick from one of their pre-written questions. Some of their questions are super invasive, like "Do you prefer top, bottom, or doggie-style?" or "Lights on or lights off?"...OMG, I am kidding. I clearly channeled those questions from one to many games of "Would you rather?" in college, but seriously, they are invasive in the sense that they are questions you probably don't know the answer to, and might require 10 - 20 minutes of self-reflection to answer. It probably comes as no surprise that I hate most of these questions. I find them a bit dunno. OFFENSIVE?! I have never even heard your voice, what makes you think I'm going to tell you what my biggest regret in life is. Annoying.

Well, there is one pre-written question that I think is fair, and somewhat interesting. It goes: They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel?

Granted, I think the whole "how does it make you feel?" part is borderline creepy and would be difficult to define. I, for instance, love to pet dogs. I love dogs. Dogs make me happy. But "how does it make you feel?"? Shit, I don't know...happy! Is that enough or would I have to try to wax poetic about what my happiness feels like. Is it like raindrops on roses or whispers on kittens? VERBALIZE IT.

However, when I ask a potential Eharm-er this question, I am not really expecting the answer I got from Jim*. He replied:

Hmmm, well spending with my friends in my car club and our camaros.

Oh wow.

*Names disguised to protect the innocent...or ignorant. You decide.

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