Life can often be looked at as a game of walking a fine line. There's tardy vs. late, drunk vs. out of hand, persistent vs. stalker, and quirky vs. crazy, to name a few. One that I find a lot of my friends (and myself) walking is reserved vs. cold, as it relates to letting people get to know the "real you." To me, reserved means you are a pleasant person, but you're not going to tell everyone everything about you in the first couple times you hang out. Cold, to me, means you are not a warm person (ha! Aren't I good with words?) and after meeting you people are not usually saying "She seems like a lot of fun/nice" because it's possible you came across as a tad bitchy/boring.
My mom likes to remind me that I'm very English (my grandfather, who was my favorite grandparent until he died when I was eight years old, was born in England) therefore I am genetically programmed to not show a lot of emotion to people. It's not to say I am not emotional...I think I kind of am. I get excited when I see dogs in my neighborhood and generally show a "Look! A cute dog!" emotion and I get teary-eyed while reading really great writing or while watching a really touching human interest story. I just do not really enjoy talking about my feelings or showing any kind of negative emotion. I also like to vent but then be totally over whatever it was that I just spent ten minutes bitching about. To me that is therapeutic. To others, that is weird. I'm not someone that needs a fix to all my "problems" (in quotes because I know there are a ton of people who would love to have my "problems"), I sometimes just like to voice them.
What do you think is the fine line between being "reserved" and "cold"? Do you ever get called one or the other?
3 comments:
I can totally see you as "reserved", but nowhere need cold. I think its more of a recent phenomenon where we're supposed to "share" with everyone, everything. But I think more often than not, I truly don't care about most of what people share. I tend to think people "share" just to hear themselves talk...I like someone where I get the layers bit by bit. On the other hand, if you're around someone for a long stretch and you still don't know much about them, or you have to pull it out of them constantly, that's cold. On a side note, I've been called quirky a lot lately...does that mean I'm on the verge of crazy? I was voted second most "weird" behind a friend of mine once.
Whoops. You're not going to get emotional over my last post...not with those grammatical errors. I meant to say you were nowhere NEAR cold, not need. Carry on!
Interesting post. You are definitely reserved. Cold, not so much.
But then I don't view myself as cold and have been told I come across as bitchy and unapproachable. Perhaps I need to share more?
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