Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What "The Hills" and the "Sweet Valley" series have in common

When I was a pre-teen, I was friends with these really cute twins. Perhaps you were also friends with them? Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield? They were blond, a perfect size 6, and had sparkling eyes? They seemed to be really popular.

"Even though the two sixth-grade girls both had long blond hair that glinted in the sunlight, aquamarine eyes, and tiny dimples in each left cheek, they were really very different. Jessica liked to talk about boys and clothes, and always wanted to have as much fun as possible. Elizabeth liked more serious things -- reading and writing and long talks with a good friend."

I was, undoubtedly, more Elizabeth than Jessica. And of course, I would have PREFERRED to naturally be more like Jessica than Elizabeth, but alas I was (and am) a bit awkward, known to suffer from crippling shyness, and relatively clueless as to to how to be stylish.

One thing that always threw me off about the SV series, whether it was the more innocent "Sweet Valley Twins" series or the provocative and envelope-pushing "Sweet Valley High", was their apparent lack of time consistency. We'd have to wait months for the next installment, anxiously wondering what the fall-out would be from one of their many adventures, and when I'd open the new book, they'd act like it had just been a week since we had last talked. This bugged me. I'm not sure why, but I felt like it was completely misleading and as if they were trying to patronize me.

Although I have sort of become a person who shuns cable television, since I've now lived over four years without it, I am a pop culture addict. This addiction culminated in actually giving up celebrity gossip for Lent one year. That was a rough time. I was successful and thought my life would be changed, but unfortunately I fell off the wagon shortly after Easter. For 2009, I am considering whether or not I'd be able to give up Facebook (I'm doubtful).

Thanks to the beauty of the internet, and episodes now existing on television websites, I am a follower of "The Hills", MTV's "reality" show. Come on. If that is reality, I am bored. The show is frustrating, annoying, and at times lacks any redeeming qualities (the most redeeming moments are when Brody Jenner is on), but I watch on my laptop every week. The other day, when watching the episode where Lauren goes to Italy for a couple days (and came back early...who does that?!) and returns to her home, EXPECTING her roommates/minions to be there (surely she could have called them from the car, but they acted like they didn't know she was going to arrive?), I was reminded of my SV time continum problem. She sits down and asks "What did I miss?". If one of my friends was gone for just a couple days (cause that's how they made it seem, don't you think?!) and asked me "What did I miss?", my reply would be "Nothing", and if they pressed me for more details, I would be annoyed. Because really, nothing monumental happened. Life is not, on average, very exciting. When Lauren went away for the summer to France, I thought she was going to be away for the whole summer, but she was there for like one week. If my friends were persistent in asking me what happened, I would be like "Oh, let's see...I woke up, checked email, read some blogs, read the news, thought about going to the gym but figured I should eat first. So I ate, and got a Red Eye so I could do Suduko. It was a four-star Suduko, so it took me a while, then I realized I had fucked something up, so I got pissed and put it down. Then I figured I should check email again, then I decided I really needed to clear out my inbox, so I spent about thirty minutes on that. I thought maybe I gave up on the Suduko to soon, so I tried to find my mistakes, but just ended up getting more pissed. I thought about going to the gym, but decided to run to the grocery store and Target." I think you see where I am going with this.

Is it just me? Is your life actually exciting on a day-to-day basis?

1 comment:

aighmeigh said...

Seriously, you crack me up. This is brilliant!